Depression Rears it's Ugly Head

I have been on depression meds for about 7 years now. They have been working great! Don't get me wrong. But everyone once in a while, the chemicals in my brain decide to fight back. Chemical depression is they lay term of the disorder, meaning the brain has a unbalance of the happy chemicals to keep you sane. It's not the technical term of what I have, but my brain is fighting me right now, so I give you they lay term.

Yesterday, I waited until Dylan took his nap, and then I laid in bed all day. I slept, I cried and I just basically moped around. When the Man got home, I told him I had a stomach ache, {which was true} and he let me sleep the rest of the night. You would think after 18 hours of sleep, one would be rested and refreshed. Nope. I am more tired and bummed than I was before.

But Mama Mclain, you ask, why don't you go do something to make yourself feel better. WELL, I would, but it has been raining for the past two and a half days, so I can't do yardwork to make myself happy. I have been playing the video games that usually make me happy as well, and they haven't worked. I think the underlying problem is stress and boredom.

I am a housemom. This means I stay at home all day every day, and take damn good care of my son. This also means that I don't get to go out and socialize as much as I would like to. There in strikes the boredom. We only have one vehicle at the moment, because The Man cannot use his motorcycle on base to go back and forth to work. Once he gets the class out of the way {later on this month} I'll be able to go to that Mommies group I joined.

The stress is caused by The Man, we have been bickering and he has had some very very rough days at work, due to the class he is taking at the moment. How can I help his stress and calm him down when I am stressed myself? I dunno.

But Depression is striking it's ugly head, and you better be damned sure I am going to rear mine back at it. RAWR you stupid depression. I can totally see why some housemom's turn to drugs and alchohol. I would not for a million zillion dollars. But I can see why, it is the easy way out of being bored. Use something that gives you euphoria. That is the losers way, in my opinion. No offense to you out there who turn to it.

So, it is the hard grind of trying to bring myself out of the dregs here. Bear with me the next couple of days. I'll make it through. I just wish I had more friends out here. Well soon I will, soon. One can only hope, and pray and do whatever it is that happy people do. Maybe I'll go hug a tree or something.